Hey! Remember me?

I'm still here…just over at my other blog!  Have you checked it out recently?

http://laurensyearwithout.blogspot.com

I'll be back here soon - don't you worry!

Crap.

Do you ever have a moment where you are just absolutely miserable and you want to talk to someone about it - and you realize the one person you'd like to talk to about it is the one person you shouldn't talk to about it?

Crap.

Sidenote:  Adele steals my feelings out of my head and puts them in song.  Apparently so does James Taylor, Miley Cyrus (I just had to look up how to spell her last name.  I am proud that I don't know that off the top of my head.), Augustana, The Newsies, Joni Mitchell and Carole King. 

I cope with music, if you can't tell.  And I have weird taste.  Don't judge me.

I'm a sink with an open drain.

All of my friends are getting married.

Everyone.  I swear.  And I'm happy for them.  Like I really am. 

But it just makes me think, "Huh.  I did that once............"

It's been awhile...so let me dance for you.

I know, I know...this blog is suffering due to Lauren's Year Without.

I am sorry.

But I have something fun to share with you!

The show I did in 2010 - LLO - is doing another production in June!  And they are fundraising for it now.  So they created an Indie Go-Go page. 

And to celebrate all the excitement - we made a go-go video pitch!  It's pretty awesome, if I say so myself!  And I think you should check it out!

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/331167/

You can also go to www.lesbianthemusical.com for more details about the show! 

Enjoy me dancing like a fool!  :)

NEW GLASSES - The Reveal!

Thank you, Warby Parker, for making my face look fierce.

First I give you the Huxley frames:

The picture makes it a little difficult to tell, but these are "Revolver Black" - and I like to call them my Clark Kent glasses.  Because I feel like I should be working at a newspaper and then, in my spare time, saving the world.

Now, the Marshall frames:

These won me over as soon as I put them on!  I used to have big red glasses as a kid.  And these brought me right back to 1st grade.  And surprisingly, I swear they go with everything.

There you have it!  The new glasses!  I'm in love.  I never want to wear contacts again.

It's that time of year.

Twice a year I get to take a trip to the Ocularist. I call it a doctor's appointment, though technically it's not. He's not a doctor. He's an Ocularist. He makes artificial eyes. (Don't worry, you have to be certified and it takes like 7 years of training...you just aren't an MD.)

It's so strange to me that people aren't familiar with it.  As it has been a part of my life for the past 15 years. 

It's a pretty simple process most visits (unless you're having a brand new one made...then it's like a crazy 2 day process).  They do a check-up, make sure that it's fitting properly, do a thorough surface cleaning and then I'm out the door. 

Unless it needs some tweaking, which it did today.  This tends to take awhile because they have to figure out exactly what they need to change for it to fit properly and then he goes back, makes the changes, comes back out, I have to sit there for a bit to let it settle in and then we look at it and make sure it's alright.  And if it's not, we do that whole process over again.

Today it was just one fix.  Not so bad.  But still, I always sit there thinking "nobody else I know ever has to do this". 

Just me.  I am the only person I know with a prosthetic eye.  I have met other people with prosthetic eyes, but I don't have any friends or acquaintances who have one. 

Which means, I can't have one of those complainy convos with a buddy like "ugh, y'know when you go in and they have to make an impression of your socket?  and it stings so badly?  ugh I hate that" and they're all "me too!  so annoying."

No, if I said that to you (or perhaps if you just read it), you'd probably just have a look of fear/disgust/confusion on your face.  It's ok,  it's really not so bad.  Don't have nightmares from reading my blog.

I'm just saying.  I'm sort of on my own out here in the world of prosthetic eyes. 

Want to know something cool though?

I used to hate talking about it.  I would cry anytime anyone asked me anything.  Because, well, it was sad for me.  And a somewhat traumatic thing for a 12 year old to go through.  And I was still so ashamed and embarrassed and uncomfortable about it.

But now...I don't cry anymore.  It's so matter of fact to me after this much time.  And honestly, I like educating people about it.  Because what makes it uncomfortable sometimes is people asking questions that, to me, feel insensitive.  But they're usually not.  It's just that the person literally has had NO exposure to something like this.  So I tell them.  And then they know.  And then if they run into someone else with a prosthetic eye (tell them I say hello!) - they will understand and perhaps sympathize and make that other person a little more comfortable.

So, yay that I can write about my prosthesis on my blog and not be afraid.  (Or at least, not be nearly as afraid as I would've been 5 or 10 years ago.)

It's just a part of who I am.

Other truth?  Sometimes I sing Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl as "One Eyed Girl" and jam out with myself.  Why not?  Don't judge me.  It's kinda fun.  Doesn't sound quite as good, but it's a song about me!

One of those days.

It's one of those days, people.  One of those days where it feels like the world is just totally mocking me.  Laughing at my existence.

Honestly, this may sound silly, but I need SoulCycle today.  More than ever.  It has this amazing ability to take the world away from me for 45 minutes and let me focus on my heart and soul and mind.  I am pretty sure this is why people like yoga so much.  Yoga doesn't quite get me there like SoulCycle does.  But if this is that feeling they are trying to describe to me, I get it now.  (they being "the yogis")

I'm just second-guessing all of my choices today.  All of them.  Everything.  Literally everything.  Except maybe...whether or not to keep breathing.  I'm not second-guessing that.  But everything else is up for debate on whether I've made a good choice or not. 

I really don't have anything else to say about it.  Because I haven't come up with any answers.  But boy, do you ever just sit back and look at your life and wonder "how did I get HERE?" 

How did I get here? 

Seriously.

Good thing I'm going to SoulCycle tonight.  Just a few more hours until I can disconnect and re-evaluate. 

Hey, that's another choice I'm not second-guessing.  Giving myself that class tonight.  Good for me.  Yay.

New Glasses!!!

Oh my goodness, I don't think I could love Warby Parker anymore than I already do.  I am obsessed.  I just ordered my new glasses today.  I'm getting two pairs because EVERY time I go, I can't decide on one!!!

Which will bring me to 4 pairs of glasses.  Too much?  Yeah, probably.  But think of all the choices I will have!  And I'll always look so smart!

I'm sure I won't be able to resist posting pictures once I receive them.  I'm so dang excited I could break some glasses!

But I won't.  That'd be terrible.