Grateful.

Y'all.  Less than a month until my birthday.  Let's just start with that. 

So, I said I would actually blog something of substance soon....I guess it's that time.

This week is Thanksgiving.  Can you believe that?  We are already there....shocking how quickly this year has gone by.

I have so much to be grateful for.  I really do.  My life is not at all where I thought it would be...I've had so many ideas of where I would be around this age...I am not really anywhere near any of them.  But things are still ok.  And because I feel so lucky that even if life isn't what I expected, it's still pretty fabulous...I would like to give thanks.  Here.  On my blog.  For the things I am so very grateful for:

I have amazing friends and family.  You all mean the world to me.  Like...you are seriously good people.  Seriously, seriously good.

I have the sweetest little dog on the face of the earth - and another little doggie up in Doggie Heaven watching over me.  (boy, do I miss him.)  I have the privilege of taking this sweet little pup to work with me basically anytime I want.  And she is so freaking well-behaved, I don't know how I got so fortunate.

I live in an adorable little studio in the best neighborhood in New York City.  I'm minutes from my absolute favorite spin classes.  There are about a bajillion amazing restaurants within walking distance.  The parks, the parks, the parks.  And...the streets themselves...are just adorable. 

I'm so darn grateful for SoulCycle - I wish I could afford to do it every single day.  It makes me happy.  And really, what exercise ACTUALLY does that?  Like legit you want to do it all the time?  I'm sorry, but nothing.  Nothing else is like that.

Ok, maybe dance sometimes. 

But truly, for me, nothing else kicks my butt and makes me smile at the same time like SoulCycle does.

I am grateful for my body.  I'm grateful that it lets me run and cycle and dance and stretch and sing and skip and laugh and oh-so-much-more every single day.  I'm grateful it lets me train for the half marathon I will run in February.  I'm grateful for its ability to adapt. 

I'm grateful for heytell.  Cause it's freaking hilarious.  Please, friends, connect with me on heytell.  It makes my day to be able to send stupid messages to people so quickly.

I'm grateful for vacations.  For the ones I've gone on this year and the ones coming up.

I'm grateful for the chocolate chip scones at the Lincoln Square Farmers Market.  And suncrisp apples.

I'm grateful my coworkers like my baking.

I'm grateful for Brandy, who does my hair, for literally letting me walk in EVERY time and say "I don't know what I want to do, I just want to change it" and she does her magic and I always love it.

I'm grateful for the Steelers for giving me something to cheer about and believe in.  Though you made me a little sad last night.  But regardless, nobody else gets me to yell at my TV like you do, my little bumblebees.

I'm grateful for Spotify.  For letting me listen to all the Christmas music I want.  I'm grateful to the Feinberg (and Feinberg-Rowe) children for introducing me to Spotify. 

I'm grateful for L.A. Burdick having a location in New York City.  Holy crap. 

I'm grateful for Christmas decorations - and for my ability to convince myself that it's all actually there to celebrate my birth instead of Jesus.

I'm grateful for people at work who make me laugh.  I'm grateful for an assistant who knows what he's doing.

I'm grateful for manicures and pedicures.  They make me feel instantly prettier.

I'm grateful for New Yorkers and their amazing bravery and resilience in the face of disaster.  And for caring for others when times get rough.  It amazes me how strangers can quickly become friends in the face of a crisis.

I'm grateful for snow.  And sunshine.  And crisp autumn air. 

That is just a sampling of what I am grateful for this year.  There is so much more that I'm sure I could add to this list, but you probably want to stop reading now, right?

Oh, did I mention that I'm grateful for you reading my blog?  And humoring me and my crazy thoughts?  Yeah, I'm totes grateful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

3 things

1.  Scout is at Doggy Daycare today and I can't help but imagine her having this fabulous time making puppy friends and never wanting to come home again.  In reality, she's probably having a mini panic attack.

2.  It's Mani/Pedi day with my friend, Aubrey!  Huzzah!

3.  I need to move someplace where snow comes before Christmas.  Because I am getting SO jealous of my friends who are already getting snow.  I guess that means I need to go either north or west.  Someone give me recommendations.

Goodbye Sweet Boy

Friday morning, I said goodbye to my best friend.  You may roll your eyes...but really, my dog Charley was the best friend I could ever ask for.  He was there for me constantly - anytime I wanted or needed him, he loved me unconditionally, he made me smile and laugh every single day, and he was always willing to wipe (or lick) away my tears.  He was completely devoted 100% of the time.  Those are just a few of the little joys he brought to my life. 

I had a really hard time deciding to let him go.  It was such a painful choice to make, but I was almost feeling selfish making him put up with his pain so I could have him there.  Now, really, I don't know how much pain he was actually in because he couldn't tell me...and I had him hopped up on codeine (chicken flavored!  my vet is awesome...) all the time.  But as I looked back at pictures and I saw him sitting up or standing or...in motion...and I realized I couldn't remember the last time I actually saw him like that, it sort of hit me how far his disease had progressed. 

I was completely willing to pick him up and carry him everywhere and hand-feed him and bathe him every time we had an "accident".  But I finally had to ask myself what kind of life that was for him.  After many conversations with my vet and with my family, I decided it was time.  And now watching Scout run around and jump and play and go get a drink whenever she feels like it, I feel like I did the right thing. 

It doesn't make it any easier.  Even with Scout around, the apartment feels empty without Charley.  He just constantly showed his love for me and radiated happiness.  And I can feel it missing now... The little smile he would get on his face made my heart melt every time.  And he was so content just to sit against my leg or sleep in my arms.  It's where he was happiest - as close to me as he could be. 

I miss him so much.  Every morning I wake up and wish he was here.  I wish he had been a healthy dog so his life wouldn't have been cut so short. 

I am relieved he isn't hurting anymore.  But the relief just doesn't cancel out the grief. 

The vet who came to put him down made an imprint of his paw out of plaster and gave it to me, along with a poem called "The Rainbow Bridge".

There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth. It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows, hills and valleys with lush green grass.

When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place. There is always food and water and warm spring weather. All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.

His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.

I am going to believe in that.  Because it gives me hope that I will see my little guy again.  And we can mend the piece of my heart that he's taken with him.

I love you, Charley.  Goodbye my sweet boy.

Day 357: Afternoon walk with Charley in the Pooch Pouch

Day 357: Afternoon walk with Charley in the Pooch Pouch, a photo by lalasappy on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
That look in his eyes says "Mama, I love you."

Day 313: This guy came to work with me today. He's the best ever.

Day 313: This guy came to work with me today. He's the best ever., a photo by lalasappy on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I love him, I love him, I love him. Charley is literally the best dog ever in the entire world. He came to work with me because we had a vet appointment afterwards. As some of you may know, Charley has degenerative joint disease, which has led to severe arthritis. We (as in...my vet and I) have struggled to manage his pain and help him live as normal a life as we can, but his pain is getting worse. I've known for about a year or so now that Charley won't have a normal life expectancy. Eventually, his pain will become too much and I will have to let him go. When that happens will depend on how his new pain meds will work. But yesterday I was very scared that I was going to hear that my options were up and it was time. (I was a mess all day. There were tears.) Thankfully, we have 2 new meds to try to see if we can get him comfortable.

I tell you this so that if you see him sometime soon, you can give him lots of lovies and tell him how much you like him and what a great dog he is. Because he is. And I am making sure he knows that every single day. This dog is, quite literally, my best friend. You may think that sounds a little lame, but it's not. That's what he's supposed to be, right? He's always there to love me and comfort me and make me smile. And I hope I do the same for him as our time together winds down.

He's a good dog. Such a good dog.

Day 232: Scouter's favorite toy is Mr. Bill - and yes, he does make sound. "Oh nooooooooo"

Day 232: Scouter's favorite toy is Mr. Bill - and yes, he does make sound. "Oh nooooooooo", a photo by lalasappy on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I'm sorry. My dog is adorable. How can you not love her? And her intense love of Mr. Bill is kind of hilarious. She's figured out how to press the button to make him talk and she'll do it over and over and over. Am I annoyed? Only slightly.

Day 63: The two cutest collars for the two cutest pups.

Day 63: The two cutest collars for the two cutest pups., a photo by lalasappy on Flickr.

Charley and Scout, of course!

Day 22: Take Your Dog To Work Day

Day 22: Take Your Dog To Work Day, a photo by lalasappy on Flickr.

Friday June 24th was Take Your Dog To Work Day!

Charley came in (since he's much calmer than Scouter....) and everyone came over and gave him lovies! He was quiet and sweet and perfect.

...And then I got a corneal abrasion and had to leave work early to go through one of the scariest experiences of my life. More on that later.

But isn't my dog SO CUTE?

GOOD WEEKEND RUNNING YAY!

OMG. I amaze myself. :)

Ok, so, busy weekend. Lots of errand running and things. And I was like "ok, Lauren...you basically stunk on your 2.3 run the other day...you MUST run 2.5 on Saturday." So I went out in the gloomy weather and started jogging. And I was like "hey...how about I just keep running til I'm actually tired instead of stopping as soon as I reach my goal? I wonder how far I can push...like 2.6 or 2.7?" So...I ran. And I ran. And then I looked at my iPhone (which tracks my running...thank you iMapMyRun!) and it said 2.98!!!!!!! And I was like WELL HOLY COW! So I figured, "Well I'm close enough to my 3.1, I may as well just do it!"

So I did. 3.13 miles on Saturday. Granted, it took me 39 minutes....but I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!

I even took a picture to celebrate:

Please excuse my yuckiness. Did I mention that it started POURING about 2 miles into my run? Yeah. I was soaked. But too happy to care. Also, if you can't tell...I run right by the GW Bridge.

So to make life even MORE awesome...I ran on Sunday as well and I decided to push myself just a little farther and see how I could do. I ran 3.45 miles in 40 minutes! My 3.13 was in 36.23! Now, I can't just take credit for shaving like 3 minutes off my time...because the first like 5 minutes of the run is all downhill...and I think that helps. Haha. But I'm super excited because I still have like 11 days until my race and I'm running farther than 5K! Which was my goal! YIPPEE I DID IT!

OK- All done talking about running.

Um, seriously, had to share. How cute is this?

Scouter (Scout...but I always call her Scouter!) passed out in my arms. This was post run, I think...On Saturday. I was just hanging out watching TV and she came up to snuggle. I have the best dogs ever.

I also have the best visiting teachers ever!! (ERIN DON'T LEAVE ME!!) They brought me the most BEAUTIFUL flowers on Saturday. Seriously...how gorgeous are these?!

And they STILL look that nice. What a lucky gal I am.

More to talk about but I need to get back to work!

LOVIES!