A little of this, a little of that...

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Dear World,

Still waiting...no rush or anything. My ovaries aren't slowly emptying of eggs every month. Oh wait, yes they are.

Love and kisses,
Lauren

Friday, August 3, 2012

Dear World,

Please send me an amazing man to fall in love with and marry who will let me just raise our children and be a spin instructor. And please make him easy on the eyes.

Thanks,
Lauren

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Friday morning, I said goodbye to my best friend. You may roll your eyes...but really, my dog Charley was the best friend I could ever ask for. He was there for me constantly - anytime I wanted or needed him, he loved me unconditionally, he made me smile and laugh every single day, and he was always willing to wipe (or lick) away my tears. He was completely devoted 100% of the time. Those are just a few of the little joys he brought to my life.

I had a really hard time deciding to let him go. It was such a painful choice to make, but I was almost feeling selfish making him put up with his pain so I could have him there. Now, really, I don't know how much pain he was actually in because he couldn't tell me...and I had him hopped up on codeine (chicken flavored! my vet is awesome...) all the time. But as I looked back at pictures and I saw him sitting up or standing or...in motion...and I realized I couldn't remember the last time I actually saw him like that, it sort of hit me how far his disease had progressed.

I was completely willing to pick him up and carry him everywhere and hand-feed him and bathe him every time we had an "accident". But I finally had to ask myself what kind of life that was for him. After many conversations with my vet and with my family, I decided it was time. And now watching Scout run around and jump and play and go get a drink whenever she feels like it, I feel like I did the right thing.

It doesn't make it any easier. Even with Scout around, the apartment feels empty without Charley. He just constantly showed his love for me and radiated happiness. And I can feel it missing now... The little smile he would get on his face made my heart melt every time. And he was so content just to sit against my leg or sleep in my arms. It's where he was happiest - as close to me as he could be.

I miss him so much. Every morning I wake up and wish he was here. I wish he had been a healthy dog so his life wouldn't have been cut so short.

I am relieved he isn't hurting anymore. But the relief just doesn't cancel out the grief.

The vet who came to put him down made an imprint of his paw out of plaster and gave it to me, along with a poem called "The Rainbow Bridge".

There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth. It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows, hills and valleys with lush green grass.

When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place. There is always food and water and warm spring weather. All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.

His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.

I am going to believe in that. Because it gives me hope that I will see my little guy again. And we can mend the piece of my heart that he's taken with him.

I love you, Charley. Goodbye my sweet boy.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Need your thoughts and prayers...

Hi friends. My dog, Charley, and I need your thoughts and prayers today and tomorrow. Please just send some love our way. Mostly to him. But if you can think of me too, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

All Are Alike Unto God

Today was great. I stood with gay and lesbian Mormons, both active and inactive, and their friends, supporters and allies. I proudly held up my sign "LDS <3 LGBT". Today I marched with Affirmation at NYC Pride. They came from all over... a woman from Westchester, a man from Raleigh, a girl from Scarsdale, a couple from Manhattan and even a gentleman from Salt Lake City who was in town on a business trip…among many others. I felt so happy standing behind the Affirmation banner with these people. With these courageous people who aren't afraid to stand up and say "We love you. We support you. We are here with you." I posted this picture to twitter:

I am so proud. I am so happy that I was there.

I want everyone to know that no matter the church says, Christ says to love one another. So here we are - being as Christ-like as we can. Here I am, showing my love to all of you.

The best part of the day? Right when I got there, a woman (in her church clothes) approached me. "Excuse me, can you please take a picture of me and my son in front of the banner?" "Of course," I said. So she hands me her iphone and walks towards the sign. A teenage boy wearing his rainbow gear walks up next to her and she puts her arm around him…and they smile. I took the photo and held back tears as I handed her phone back to her. What an amazingly wonderful mother - to walk with him and to support him and show her PRIDE in her son. I was so touched.

These are some of our signs:

My favorite sign was "All are alike unto God" 2 Nephi 26:33. Though the scripture is talking about black and white, bond and free…it applies here. I loved seeing a scripture from the Book of Mormon that was so uplifting and spread the same message we were there to support.

I ended up ducking out early as I had said I'd be at church today (though I skipped 2 meetings and only made it to Relief Society) - the lesson was on the qualities of Christ. When the teacher asked us what we thought of when we think of Christ, my immediate response was "Love one another." It's one of the most important lessons we can take with us in this life - and it's the lesson that I saw so many people live today.

Happy Pride Everyone.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Well since you haven't answered my question...

I don't really have anything to post! Except this:

Friday, June 8, 2012

Breaktime Over.

Ok, well I took a few days off after finishing my 365 days of photos. (Did I really do that? I did, didn't I? That was cool.)

But now, I have a decision. What is this blog going to be now? I'm back on facebook (cautiously...I am cautiously making my way back...I don't like it that much anymore, really...) and I am still on twitter and I guess I can post whatever instagram photos I happen to take...but...why keep the blog then? When you can read up on me anywhere else? Why will my blog be here?

If anyone has a good answer or even a direction to point me in...that'd be great.

Happy Friday to you all. This weekend is the Big Apple BBQ Block Party and I couldn't be more excited. I love this weekend more than pretty much all weekends in NYC. Let's hope it lives up to my super high expectations.