Dear World,

Hire Me.

Thanks,

Lauren Wood

I burnt my pancakes.

I burnt my pancakes. Not enough to throw them out, but enough that they tasted kinda ...well, burnt.

I plan to make them again tomorrow morning (I have the pancake mix where you use eggs, milk, blah blah blah so I have to make the smallest serving...which is 10-12 pancakes, and I can't eat 10-12 pancakes...so then I get to have pancakes for like 3 days.) so hopefully I will not burn them tomorrow. I will most definitely TRY not to.

Tomorrow I am going to TARGET. I'm super excited. I love TARGET. I need to go buy one thing...but I know that I will walk out with an enormous bag of things. I need to give myself a limit. A literal dollar limit. I just don't know what it should be. I think $40. Cause the thing I'm buying should be like 15 at the most. And that gives me some wiggle room for any other exciting things I find. :) Cause one always finds exciting things at TARGET.

Also, I've decided that I will rearrange basically all of the furniture in my bedroom tomorrow to make way for my window AC. Cause it's getting to be that time...so far I've been able to function without it, but I think it's about that time. And at the moment, my bed is blocking the window, so I wouldn't be able to press any of the buttons. Soooooo gotta move it! And if I move that, then I have to move other stuff...so it'll be an exciting day! TARGET and moving stuff around. WOOO WOOOOOO!

And also, I have to practice my music for the benefit I'm singing in on Thursday. Cause...I don't know stuff. And I need to!

Aaaaand that's all. Peace!

Tulips

I love tulips. There are so happy. :)

Ocularist

Do you even know what that IS?!

I bet you don't. It's not an optometrist or an ophthalmologist. It's not even a doctor actually...though it kind of sounds like one.

I like the dictionary definition:

oc·u·lar·ist (ŏk'yə-lər-ĭst)
n. A person who is skilled in the design, fabrication, and fitting ofartificial eyes and in the making of prostheses associated with theappearance or function of the eyes

Interesting, no?

That's what I'm doing today...getting a new prosthesis made. I really hate this part of my life and wish I had two functioning eyes. But alas, I don't.

This is always a scary process because (if you are someone who has had a prosthesis) you know it's never going to look perfect...perfect would be a regular EYE. But you want it to look as great as possible. And I get so nervous that I won't like it or it will be more noticeable or...I don't know...just won't look at all natural.

But all that aside (cause I can't think about that right now or I'll get even MORE worked up about it), I do find it interesting that if you don't have an ocular prosthesis or know someone who has one well enough that you've talked about it with them, people have NO idea that this occupation even exists or HOW these things are made. I know I had no idea until I unfortunately had to have one.

So I leave you with that interesting definition. And maybe if I'm feeling good about it later, I'll tell you all about the incredibly long, tedious process.

Alright, off I go! Wish me luck.

Peace.

Cookies & Cream

I totally regret living my entire childhood thinking chocolate was the only acceptable ice cream flavor. Cookies & cream is so flipping delicious.

Yum Yum The End.

I love Slam Poetry.

Does that makes me a lesbian?

Bust.

Ok, so obviously the bad photo idea was a bust. So now I need to figure out what else I can talk about on this dang thing...

Did I ever tell you the "That's What She Said" story that was so incredibly inappropriate? I mean, personally, I think all "that's what she said" stories are inappropriate...but this one was...actually inappropriate. Not just funny inappropriate.

Ok, so. I'm at the 34th street subway station waiting for the NQRW to go up to 42nd St to meet a friend. A nice-looking, smiling gentleman approaches and asks, "Excuse me, do you know which train I should take to get to the Apple Store on 5th Avenue?". To which I reply, "I think you can get on any train on that side (I pointed to the local side), but let me check real quick". So, I pull up my subway map app on my iPhone and as I am looking I say, "I've gotten off there before, but I just want to make sure"...

...and he immediately replies "That's what she said".

And I just paused...and threw up a little in my mouth...and told the guy "Yeah, any train on that track will take you to the 57th street station" and he said "Great! Thank you!" and went on his merry way.

REALLY?!!?! REALLY?!?!!?!?!?!?!! It took me a second to even figure out WHAT he could've said that about...I mean, gross dude. AND YOU ARE A TOTAL STRANGER. You'd say that to a total stranger?!

I guess it's ok to drop a "that's what she said" between friends...but to a perfect stranger after you ask them for directions??? Honestly. Yuck.

I was just in shock. And now I just find it funny...and weird. Oh, random people on the subway...

Anyway...now that I've shared that, I've run out of things to say.

So...

Peace.

I am so dense.

I just had an epiphany about something incredibly obvious. While in the shower. Because...it's about the shower.

Y'know how when guys get all ..."worked up"... in that...waaaaay, people always say something about taking a cold shower?

Well, I just realized why. Cause I always wondered to myself...why does it have to be a cold shower? What if you don't like cold showers? Why can't they go take a hot shower?

I just assumed it was like...y'know...to get refreshed and y'know...get your mind off of it...

But uh, yeah...I just figured it out.

Better late than never, I guess.

DUH, Lauren...DUH.

Peace.

Bad Photos: Take Two

Ok, this post has a theme...these are all from my CISV Seminar Camp in Gothenburg, Sweden. This was the summer after I graduated high school...I obviously had not matured enough yet...

Who doesn't love a good game of Chubby Bunnies? Well, the Americans had to teach everyone else how to play...I don't recall how excited they were about it...but I was obviously overjoyed to be playing.

Whoever took this...thanks for catching me mid-word and looking slightly possessed...And I'm so glad I threw that halter top away that same summer. Ugh.

At the train station...could I make it any more obvious that I am the stereotypical loud American? ...in a cowboy hat, no less... Yikes.

I hope I've grown up since then...I think I have...I think...maybe...

Peace.

Purely for your entertainment...

THE FIRST EDITION OF BAD PHOTOS OF LAUREN:

Well, I'm a little bored right now, so I decided what would be more fun than posting awful pictures of myself on my blog? Normally, I would do just the opposite. I like people to think I'm pretty. :) But...this is probably more enjoyable for people out there reading this. So...sit back and enjoy the awkwardness!

I thought this was a good way to keep my hair from getting wet when it was raining.

CISV. We did a little project where you had to take away a body part...some people got eyes, ears, legs...I got arms. And then we had to have lunch...hence the licking.

I think I was trying to be funny... But I just look awkward. And bad. Awkward and bad.

Well, that's all for now, but come back for more! I'll be searching for awful photos of me until then! Shouldn't be too hard... I tend to get a little weird in front of cameras.

Peace!

Austin! And general updates on life.

Well, I just got back on Monday from another awesome trip to Austin to see the family! Got there on Thursday and my sister, Sarah, had gotten tickets to this show called "Ladies of the 80's" at the Alamo Draft House. They played some really awesome music videos that were all female artists from the 80's. We rocked out to some quality tunes.

Elisa, Me, Sarah's friend Vanessa, and Sarah at the show

Dad and I at dinner at "Angel's". It had an awesome band and I had the NAUGHTIEST cheeseburger...so delish. Bacon and Guacamole. Heavenly.

For Sarah's birthday, we went ZIP-LINING! It was quite fun. We would ride these ziplines from tree to tree out in hill country. You go SO fast...super fun.

Sarah took this right after I landed...and I subconsciously beveled. Awesome.

(PS: that guide made fun of me the entire freaking time. 2 hours of teasing. Grr.)

Shaun, Sarah and I after we zipped our final line!

So, that was another first for me. PLUS...OMG...Shaun (my step brother) took me out on his MOTORCYCLE. I was SO frightened. But it was sooooooo cool! Motorcycles are one thing I was convinced I would never do. It can be so dangerous that I just told myself it was a life experience I didn't need. But now I'm very glad I did it. I'm not saying I'm going to become a biker chick, but I've changed my point of view on the whole motorcycle thing.

I'm totally psyched to go back next month for Elisa's and Dad's birthday. Who knows what exciting stuff I'll get into this time!

Otherwise...not too much is new. Took the doggies for walkies today. Oh, and I've decided I want to start running. Cause I really suck at it. And I think it'd be fun to be able to do it. Since I've really never been able to. But I have to find a buddy to help me...cause I know I won't have the strength to do it all on my own. But I am feeling inspired and I totally want to give it a try. I'll keep you updated on whether or not I actually follow through with this.

PS: Anyone remember the cartoon "Daria" on mtv? I got some episodes on Netflix for fun and it brought back so many memories. And I still totally have a crush on Jane's brother...I know he's a cartoon, but he's just so cool.

And now that I've admitted my attraction to a drawing, I'll bring this post to an end.

Peace.

Let's Vote

Should I go back to school in 2011?

Yay or Nay?