DONE!

Did it!

31:56! I'm actually pretty proud of that time! It's about a 10:40 mile....which is better than I was doing before!

Pics to come!

TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!

My. Race. Is. TOMORROW.

FREEEEEEEEEEEEAKING OUT ON THE INSIDE!!!!!!!

(I can't freak out on the outside cause I'm at work...)

OMG OMG OMG OMG.

It's supposed to be a nice day though. Almost too nice. I'm afraid I'll over-dress and be hot, but I also want to bring a long sleeve shirt cause once I'm done, I don't want to be cold. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, guys, don't make fun of me if my time sucks. I totally blew it this week and didn't run at all. But Jane says I'm saving my energy for my race. I like that idea. ;)

What am I going to talk about after this is over? I'll be so bored. Haha.

I'll just have to start baking again or something. And taking cool pictures.

Lovies!

Oh my gosh, what is WRONG with me?!

First: I stopped running, apparently. I ran on Sunday and I haven't run since. And guess what? THE RACE IS ON SATURDAY. That's 2, COUNT 'EM 2, days from now....

Last night I said "ok Lauren, get up in the morning and run and you can go into work a few minutes late!" Which turned into...Sleep in til 8:40...still be late for work, but no running.

Ugh.

Nothing will get me motivated and things keep just popping up to distract me! I got stuck at work on Monday, had an audition after work Tuesday, a callback after work Wednesday and now tonight I'm seeing MEMPHIS...so there goes this week.

PS: Callback? Nothing fab. Weird company and they are looking for 3 women out of the 30 at the callback which lasted about 3 hours. ...Can you say, "hey, you're kind of wasting my time?"

Yup, you can.

Anywho, I'll shut up about running for a minute.

I'm having some trouble deciding...where to go, what to do next...I just have no idea. I think I want to move to Austin? But there's really no major reason aside from my family. Part of me doesn't want to give up on "the dream" but part of me is like "if I leave NY, I'll probably get to work MORE because there's less competition." I don't know.

Any ideas for me? Careers to pursue? Places to go? Things to try? I've run out of steam trying to think of things or ideas.

OH: PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME GOOD RUNNING TUNES! I need 'em for Saturday.

Ok, back to work now! Gotta be productive in SOME way today!

Fail, Fail FAIL FAIL FAIL.

Did I run 4 miles this weekend?

Nope.

Did I eat healthy knowing I'm running a race next week?

Nope.

Did I even run both days this weekend?

NOPE.

Saturday, I did some 30 minute Kettlebells Workout Video that was on-demand at my fam's house.

Sunday I ran 2.32 miles. LAME.

My only excuse? It was SO much hotter outside than I thought and I was not prepared.

But still, totally lame, Lauren, and now you have to WORK YOUR TUSH OFF THIS WEEK to make sure you're ready for this race on Saturday.

And y'know what? Because I never actually do anything with weights anymore, that dang kettlebell work out just about killed my muscles. My legs are still sore today. Laaaaame.

Let's see, let's see...bright side?

Mmm, I can't really think of a bright side to any of that.

But I did have an enjoyable weekend. It was so nice to get out of the city. And my puppies enjoyed the trip so much. I also painted eggs! Which is NOT a tradition for my immediate family, so it was a fun new thing!

5 days til my race! AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHH!

Oh and bonus happy: The weather today is SO NICE! Perfect, actually. High of 70. Not too hot, but I didn't need long sleeves at all today!

Tomorrow's hotter...78, not sure if that's too much yet. I want a little more SPRING weather. LOW 70's is ideal. I don't need to go straight to disgusting NY summer.

Lovies and kisses and easter eggs!

WEEKEND.

I'm like 2 1/2 hours away from the weekend. I'm barely hanging on here, people.

I have to run my tush off this weekend. I have been eating SO bad this week.

Goal for the weekend? 4 miles. One of my runs this weekend should be 4 miles. Perhaps it will be my easter gift to myself. HA! What a gift. THE RACE IS IN A WEEK! AHHHHHH!

Tonight I will ride a train! Cause I'm gonna go visit some family for the holiday. And I'm excited to ride a train. It's been awhile since I've had a good ol' train ride.

So....I have a complaint. I keep getting manicures every few weeks and they chip like...within 5 days. And then they look like CRAP and I end up having to take the pretty color off my nail and just put a clear coat on because I suck at painting nails and no matter what it looks bad. So I feel like clear is the least conspicuous.

But I'm just wondering...of all these places I go, how come my BEST and LONGEST LASTING manicure was from the XPress Spa at JFK airport? Lasted like 2 weeks on my hands and like a MONTH on my toes without looking bad. MIRACLE. But I can't just buy a plane ticket to get a good mani/pedi. That's weird and probably a waste of my money.

Probably.

Anywho...I should continue to work now. Instead of writing to my 4-person fan base.

Lovies!

Such a fail.

So I rocked out this weekend with my running, right?

And then ran Monday morning (but only like 2 miles cause I was tired and had to go to work). And then...NOTHING. I have not run since. And I know I won't run today. And I know I won't run tomorrow. So Saturday and Sunday I have to run my tush off and I'm going to be exhausted cause I will have had 5 days off. GROSS.

BAD LAUREN BAD.

This is all I have time for at the moment cause I have to get back to work. Booooo.

Lovies!

Dear World,

Please give New York City a little more sunshine. The temps are fine, honestly...because you're not sweating me to death, but I still don't have to wear a coat. Just, lose the gloom.

Thanks.

Love,

Lauren

GOOD WEEKEND RUNNING YAY!

OMG. I amaze myself. :)

Ok, so, busy weekend. Lots of errand running and things. And I was like "ok, Lauren...you basically stunk on your 2.3 run the other day...you MUST run 2.5 on Saturday." So I went out in the gloomy weather and started jogging. And I was like "hey...how about I just keep running til I'm actually tired instead of stopping as soon as I reach my goal? I wonder how far I can push...like 2.6 or 2.7?" So...I ran. And I ran. And then I looked at my iPhone (which tracks my running...thank you iMapMyRun!) and it said 2.98!!!!!!! And I was like WELL HOLY COW! So I figured, "Well I'm close enough to my 3.1, I may as well just do it!"

So I did. 3.13 miles on Saturday. Granted, it took me 39 minutes....but I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!

I even took a picture to celebrate:

Please excuse my yuckiness. Did I mention that it started POURING about 2 miles into my run? Yeah. I was soaked. But too happy to care. Also, if you can't tell...I run right by the GW Bridge.

So to make life even MORE awesome...I ran on Sunday as well and I decided to push myself just a little farther and see how I could do. I ran 3.45 miles in 40 minutes! My 3.13 was in 36.23! Now, I can't just take credit for shaving like 3 minutes off my time...because the first like 5 minutes of the run is all downhill...and I think that helps. Haha. But I'm super excited because I still have like 11 days until my race and I'm running farther than 5K! Which was my goal! YIPPEE I DID IT!

OK- All done talking about running.

Um, seriously, had to share. How cute is this?

Scouter (Scout...but I always call her Scouter!) passed out in my arms. This was post run, I think...On Saturday. I was just hanging out watching TV and she came up to snuggle. I have the best dogs ever.

I also have the best visiting teachers ever!! (ERIN DON'T LEAVE ME!!) They brought me the most BEAUTIFUL flowers on Saturday. Seriously...how gorgeous are these?!

And they STILL look that nice. What a lucky gal I am.

More to talk about but I need to get back to work!

LOVIES!

I WANNA BLOG...

But there's NO TIME!

CUPCAKE PICTURES!

So yesterday, before the bf ate the final cupcakes, I snapped 2 quick pics with my phone for y'all to see. Now. The icing on these got a bit wonky when I added the pink food coloring...so these ones aren't as pretty as the first half of the batch.

I also added sugar crystals and jelly beans to make them very springy!

Please excuse my lop-sided icing. It didn't affect the taste. :)

Woo woooooo cupcakes!

Ok, TODAY I run.

For real, cause it's like 67 degrees and sunny here. How wonderful!

So today will be my 2.31...I may try to push for 2.4 or 2.5, but we'll just see how I do.

I really like Spring. I like late Spring the best...when it's warm enough that you take your jacket "just in case" but you don't actually need it! And the sun shines. And the birds sing and the flowers bloom...It makes me happy.

Also: I love my friends. I love my friends that I almost never see...but they are still so special to me. And I love them for loving me for who I am and embracing our differences and our similarities. I love them for caring...no matter how long it's been since we've talked.

It's funny...I don't have a lot of close friends here in the city. I have people I hang with occasionally. I have people I know well and have known for years...but, to be honest, I almost never see them. It always seems like when something is wrong or when I need a friend, it's the ones that are the farthest away who are there for me the most. Isn't that strange?

Aaaaanywho, I guess I'm going to get back to work here. I feel like I haven't said all I wanted to say today...so perhaps I will return!

Lovies.

No Run Last Night

It was rainy and gross and then started doing CRAZY LIGHTNING!

But to make up for it, I did WiiFit. Hehe. I did the "free step" which means I can basically march in place on the little wii fit board thing while watching TV. I did 2 30-min sessions. Did not even really break a sweat, but at least I was moving...

...and then this morning I woke up and my calves were like "WHOA LAUREN OUCH OUCH OUCH". Cause...y'know, apparently marching for an hour only uses calf muscles? I don't know. But today they are sore and in need of a good stretch.

I am having trouble motivating myself at work. And it's been this way for like 2 weeks. I need something to get me going again. And I'm just like...wah waaaaah. I don't know. I just wanna move to a new city and go back to school, dang it. I wish I knew what I wanted to go for.

SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO WITH MY LIIIIIIIIIFE!

Ok then! Lovies!

So far, so good.

So far, my training has been going well! This weekend I made it to 2.1 miles in 25:20. So I kept basically the same pace...around 12:30ish... and I'm on track to make it to my goal.

But I've started getting sore. Mostly right below my knees. Does anyone know...is that a shoe thing or a weight placement thing? I'm not enjoying it. And I totes got a blister from the liner of my sneaker rubbing the side of my foot. Grr.

Today I'm taking a day off since I did 2 in a row over the weekend. I'm happy and relieved. BUT today is like the nicest day we've had in NYC in a looooong time, so I'm sad I won't be out running in it. I'd change my mind if I didn't have errands to run after work. But Charley needs his meds! And I need groceries. Plus, we got a big office supply/grocery order at the office so I spent like 15-20 minutes lifting cases of soda onto the proper shelves. Yay manual labor...

Oh! The twin-sitting went fairly well. One was pretty fussy, but other than that it was ok. It's kind of tough to keep your eye on two kids at one time when they're crawling and you're trying to keep them on the rug...but it's good practice for the future! I hope they call me again cause I like that extra income!

I baked cupcakes for my coworkers yesterday and used Jane's magnificent Buttercream Icing recipe! I realized after I finished it that I didn't quite let it get thick enough so it was getting soft pretty quickly and not quite fluffy enough, so I ended up just keeping the cupcakes refrigerated this time...but they still taste DELICIOUS! And now I know better for next time! Thanks Janey! :)

Crap, I forgot to take a picture of them. I have a couple at home. I'll take a pic and post it at a later date!

Lovies and Hugs and Kisses and Good Things.

Success yesterday.

But I'm still SO SLOW. 1.73 miles in 21:20. That's an average of 12:19/mile. Gross.

Granted it's not like I was trying to run like someone was chasing me....but still...I'm pretty sure I can also walk a mile that quickly.

Tomorrow will be 1.85 miles and Sunday is 2 miles. If on April 10, I'm almost 2/3 of the way there...I'm SO game for 3.1 miles on April 30th!! Still gonna try to get to 4 miles before the race so I'm like "3.1? Psh! Easy!"

And I'm hoping that once I've got the distance thing alright, the pace will get better. Right now I think I'm too scared to push myself to go faster for fear I'll tire out. Remember...LAUREN DOES NOT RUN. LAUREN HAS NEVER REALLY RAN. Lauren likes couches. Lauren likes sleeping. Lauren maybe dances for an hour but that's about the most cardio she'll do.

Ok, back to first person. There's this part of me that's literally ashamed to write my pace and stuff on this blog. But then I remember, hey, it's private, and if you guys make fun of me, I'll just not let you read anymore! (...actually, I'd probably still let you read...I'd just be like "hey, you jerk" or something to myself...)

But in reality, I mean, this is progress and I shouldn't be ashamed of progress, right?

RIGHT?!!

Thank you.

Tomorrow I'm babysitting for the first time in like 8 months. For 9 month old twins. This is something I do NOT have experience with. And they are crawling. And I'm slightly petrified. But I want that money, so I'm gonna suck it up and hope I love these kiddos. I do miss spending time with children. And it's only 4 hours, so hopefully I can handle it. But I am a little nervous. (It's also a first time mommy...and I feel like first time mommies - yes, I know like 3 of you reading this are first time mommies - can be a little overprotective. But, it also means they're detailed, which I like. The more direction you give me, the more comfortable I am. And the more comfortable the kiddos are cause it's the routine they're used to! But yeah, I'm nervous. Or I wouldn't be writing so much about it.

Anywho...unless it's an absolute disaster, I'll probably write about it. Otherwise I'll pretend it never happened.

1.7 Today?

We'll see if it happens after work. It's cold and nasty and rainy out and the only thing I want to do after work is go home and snuggle on the couch with Charley. That's not to say I DON'T want to snuggle with Scout...but she's kinda hyper whenever I come home...while Charley prefers the snuggling. But my point? I want quality couch time...but I need 1.7 miles.

Boo. Running isn't that fun to me. Does anyone really enjoy it? Or is it more like "hey look what I've accomplished"...cause I get that. And I get why that might make you say you "like" to run...but if you really "like" it, well, we need to talk and you need to tell me what I'm doing wrong.

So! The last 2 days I've had the opportunity to see 2 shows! The first was a new off-Broadway play called "By The Way, Meet Vera Stark". It was...interesting. Not my favorite thing ever, but it had some great performances...specifically, Karen Olivo (who won the Tony for Anita in the West Side Story Revival). She was hilarious in the second act. Made me wish I saw her as Anita.

Then LAST night I got to go see my friend from college, Jesse Swenson, in The Addams Family. He's playing "Lucas Beineke"...Wednesday's new boyfriend. He did such a fabulous job and it was so great to see him perform again. He's in it with Bebe Neuwirth (YEAH!! I KNOW!! I die a little!) and Roger Rees (The Sheriff of Rottingham from Men in Tights...seriously!!). The show itself is...well, slightly unfortunate. But the set and costumes are fabulous and my friend Jesse was GREAT! And Lurch was really good too. :)

Afterwards, I went back stage and Jesse and I took a picture with Cousin It.

I apologize for the blurriness of my iphone...we snapped it pretty quick. I also got to see the giant squid tentacles and the torture chair they used. Random but fun!

Next month I'm going to see another friend, Nick Adams, in Priscilla: Queen of the Desert...which I'm excited about. I also really want to go see How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying with Daniel Radcliffe! But I have to see if I have any money with which to do so.

Not too much else going on. Work is busy. I am tired of it. That's about it!

Grateful.

Do you ever have one of those "Well, DUH." moments where you realize something that you were totally upset about was really for the best? And you definitely told yourself that while crap was going down but didn't realize until MONTHS later that it's actually true?

So grateful for those moments.

So grateful to realize I am better off where I am now.

I don't think or say that enough. I am grateful for my life. There are so many things that frustrate me and I am the first person to say the last 3 years have been the absolute hardest and worst (sad, right?) of my life. I struggled and I cried and I fought through so much pain...and I made it to the other side in one piece.

I'm so much stronger and I have learned so much about life and pain and how strong I am.

I am lucky. I am a beautiful soul. There are people in this world that love me for exactly who I am. And they care. You care...because the people who read this are definitely those people. I love you all.

I may not have everything I want right now, but I will find more happiness.

And I'm happy that those people that I left behind (or who left me behind) are happy too. I hope they'll stay happy. And I hope that eventually, they can wish me happiness too. Because they will be in my heart forever for the love they showed me at one time. Regardless of how they may treat me now.

But anyway...I'm just grateful. I'm grateful that today I said "DUH...Lauren, things are OK" and I know it to be true.

...people, please remind me of this the next time I'm freaking out. :)

Lovies!

PS: 1.5 miles on Saturday. I complained the last .3 because it was cold out and I was breathing through my mouth...but training is on track so far!

Fidgety...

I am so fidgety at work today. I can't concentrate. I'm getting nothing done because all I want to do is just JUMP AROUND! I wanna dance and run and bounce!

I have no idea why.

But I can't stop this feeling!!!!!!!

On the bright side, it means I'm SO awake.

I'm starting to think about my running playlists. Totally using your tips, btw, Jane! (I need some good Gaga recommendations though...cause for some reason I'm not feeling "Telephone" while I run...I don't know why...and I can't remember what else I have.) I don't like Black Eyed Peas that much, but I think they might be a good addition for the rhythms...

BronxZooCobra was found. Slightly relieved, since my 5K is at the Bronx Zoo...but I'm sad cause now the tweets can't possibly be as amusing. Have y'all been reading them? Hilar. Especially if you know the places that it was talking about.

OK OK OK LAUREN GO BACK TO WORK!

Lovies to you all!